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Crew Bar & Grill
4804 N. Broadway St.
773-784-2739
www.worldsgreatestbar.com

Cheer the Chicago Bears and Cubs — the ones on the field and the ones standing next to you — at this sports bar, where (ostensibly) watching the big screens is a relief from relentless cruising.

Scarlet Bar
3320 N. Halsted St.
773-348-1053
www.scarletbarchicago.com

The theme is all that's retro at this Speakeasy-themed elegant spot, where exposed-brick walls, comfy couches and oversized black-and-white period photos provide a relaxing atmosphere for shmooze and booze.

Touché
6412 N. Clark St.
773-465-7400
www.touchechicago.com

Leather and Chicago go together like a horse whip and man-carriage, so a visit to the premier leather bar is a must. Check the calendar for themed nights like Bear, Dungeon Master and Gear.

Sidetrack
3349 N. Halsted St.
773-477-9819
www.sidetrackchicago.com

Multi-leveled, multi-barred and multi-vodka concoctions make for multifarious fun. Three nights a week, it's a piano bar. There's nearly always somethig going on, it seems, but the humpy crowd digs it and you'll dig them.

Baton Show Lounge

436 N. Clark St.
312-644-5269
www.thebatonshowlounge.com

If you want to take in some serious — really serious — drag, head over to the River North district, where three shows five nights a week offer glamor, high hair, boas, higher hair, cat mascara and sequins.